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Astrology Holds the Key, or My Chiron Experience I had one of the saddest and most shocking experiences of my life when -- lying on the table where I’d undergone a routine sonogram to check on the progress of my 10-week old pregnancy -- the doctor solemnly informed me that the baby’s heartbeat was no more. Devastated by the news, my husband and I grieved our loss and tried to go about our lives as usual with our then four and one-half year old son, biding our time until we could try to conceive again. What I didn’t know then, but do know now, is that the movement of key planets through the sky at that time (called “transits”) activated planets in my natal chart and triggered life altering events that propelled me on my own personal journey of deep woundedness – one that would change the course of my life forever. Let me explain: It all centered at the time around my natal Chiron – the asteroid that represents the wounded healer in us all. Chiron was discovered approximately 30 years ago and has since been accorded much attention by many astrologers as the focal point – shown to us by its natal house placement and sign in our individual charts -- where we have somehow been deeply wounded. In Greek mythology Chiron is known as the “Wounded Healer.” Half mortal, half immortal, half human and half beast, Chiron rose above the rest of the centaurs through his ability to utilize his healing powers on behalf of others. When wounded in the thigh by a poison-tipped arrow as he was caught in the crossfire of a dispute of which he was not a part, the injury caused him unbearable pain, but his immortality prevented him from using death as a way to end his excruciating suffering. So he suffered on until – at last – Zeus his father, king of the gods, allowed his misery to end by granting him mortality so that he could finally die. Chiron’s suffering becomes a metaphor for the symbol of where we find within ourselves the “wound that never heals.” In fact, each of us has a vested interest in never fully healing this wound, for it is through initiation of our personal healing process that we are able to reach out and help others heal their own wounds. And so we perpetuate the cycle of healing, not individually, but through our spiritual connection with others. Chiron sits in my 6th House of health, service, and everyday life/work in the sign of Aquarius. The Wounded Healer is conjoined with (or fused to) my Mars (planet of motivation, ambition, aggression and anger) – also in Aquarius -- and both are positioned in opposition (180 degrees apart) to my 12th House Pluto in Leo. This opposition – Pluto vs. Mars/Chiron between the ancestral 12th House and the 6th House of health point immediately to the potential for a serious health issue that might well be passed on through family genetics, a.k.a., my ancestral roots. Six weeks following the loss of my baby I began to experience symptoms of intermittent numbness in my right leg and foot, and a burning sensation that ran from my right hip down into my thigh, walking became difficult, and my legs felt like they weighed a ton as I struggled up and down stairs and to chase after my extremely active pre-schooler. Several visits to a neurologist, three MRI’s, and one spinal tap later, and I was diagnosed with relapsing/remitting Multiple Sclerosis -- a chronic, progressive, neurological disease of the central nervous system, or the brain and the spinal cord. In the simplest of astrological interpretations, Chiron in the 6th House represents a physical wound, or inadequacy. Even more uncannily, Chiron conjoined with Mars in Aquarius (ruled by Uranus, a symbol of electric energy, and of erratic and sudden, unexpected events) seemed to foreshadow a “wounding” to the process of electric conduction throughout my body’s nervous system. MS is an incurable autoimmune disease (Chiron in the 6th) wherein the body – thinking there is a foreign invader – mistakenly attacks (Mars, the warrior) the fatty coating around nerve endings, causing unexpectedly intermittent electrical conduction (Aquarius/Uranus) that can result in a host of potentially debilitating symptoms. “When Chiron is in Virgo or the 6th House, our emotional issues are often mirrored in a particularly direct way through physical symptoms,” writes astrologer Melanie Reinhart in her brilliant book “Chiron and the Healing Journey.” In astrology, the 6th House is naturally ruled by Virgo, the sign of health and service, and the sign most prone to manifesting stress through the mind/body connection. In other words, the mental and emotional stress of my miscarriage manifested itself through my body in a very Aquarian/Uranian way (Chiron in the 6th in Aquarius) – through damage to my nerves! As I struggled to cope with this momentous news and to understand this disease and its symptoms –including numbness and/or tingling, vertigo, overwhelming fatigue, and more -- I was faced with many decisions. Two top-notch MS neurologist specialists made it clear to us that if we wanted another child, I’d be taking my chances with relapsing during my pregnancy, and that there would be no relief in that case. My other choices were to forgo another pregnancy and begin taking one of the available drugs – all fairly new at the time – to attempt to slow the progression of the MS, or to do nothing and take my chances. Shortly following all of this unexpected news, Saturn (the planet of responsibility and hard work) transiting through my 9th House of higher learning formed a frictional T-square (a 90 degree angle, or “hard/challenging” aspect) to both my 6th House Chiron/Mars conjunction and my 12th House Pluto, and my Progressed Moon in Aquarius conjoined my natal Chiron. Meanwhile, Uranus in Aquarius transiting through my 6th House slowly made its way toward both Chiron and my Progressed Moon. Unexpected events sprang into action, leaving me to eventually discover how these fated events (as I choose to believe they were) allowed me -- through my own free will -- to steer the course of my own life. My Chiron/Mars opposition to Pluto highlights the possibility that, as the result of wounds in childhood caused by the consistent domination (Pluto) of my “personal will” (Mars), I suppressed my own “healthy capacity for positive self-assertion, [and] healthy expression of anger,” as Reinhart puts it in her book. In other words, my ability to express anger went underground at a young age, and lay dormant until triggered by these planetary transits. Thus, as Saturn formed its T-square in my chart, it put pressure on my capability to continue to suppress my personal will, just as approaching Uranus triggered a sudden and unexpected desire to be proactive rather than reactive. My propensity to keep the lid on whatever anger and rage I felt during my life thus far could no longer stay contained within and eventually found expression through my body and its experience of the symptoms of Multiple Sclerosis. And my Progressed Moon in Aquarius shouted to me that it was time to break the rules and to make my life my own where my health, and wound, was concerned. What followed was my decision not to risk my health with another pregnancy, and to defy my diagnosing doctor’s advice and start on a drug therapy that was newer and less proven to work, but which carried far fewer side-effects. This was a more than “appropriate” response to take, as both the influence of Uranus -- the planet of rebellion, individuality and unconventionality – and my Progressed Moon intensified as they approached my natal Chiron/Mars conjunction and opposed my Pluto. In short, I woke up, became empowered, and realized I could in fact express my personal will! Chiron in Aquarius also speaks of the potential to heal one’s woundedness through humanitarian gestures related to friends, groups and associations. And its position my 6th House of health pointed to the "where" my healing efforts could manifest -- by helping others through my own knowledge about my own experience with MS! As my Progressed Moon in Aquarius came into contact with Chiron it threw a spotlight onto my grief, and eventually allowed me to begin my process of healing in an very individualistic way. I resolved to take a positive approach to this disease which – by many doctor’s standards – might have me in a wheelchair within the decade. Instead, within a year and a half of my diagnosis, a diagnostic MRI showed no progression of my disease, and I was invited to become a patient advocate to share my MS experiences with other newly diagnosed MS patients. Within three years I started a local support group, went to work for a charitable organization assisting those with disabilities (including MS), and wrote and edited published pieces on the subject of healthcare and MS. Nine years later I am symptom-free, never experienced the relapse predicted by my two doctors, and am eternally grateful for the chart I chose to come into this life to live. The key -- as I have thankfully discovered along the trials and tribulations of my journey thus far – is to continue to heal by embracing my Chiron and making it work for me and not against me, and to apply it to my life in the most positive way possible. |